Jeremy Turner’s Blog

Howdy. I’m Jeremy Turner, bay area graphic designer and narcissistic blogger, and this here is my second post in a series on the other Jeremy Turner’s that are stealing my proverbial thunder on The Google. I decided to write about “death metal” guitarist Jeremy Turner next because last week while trying to convince my co-workers that I was the touring guitarist for a band called Cannibal Corpse, I noticed that his Wikipedia entry was marked for deletion. I really should have taken a screenshot to go along with this post, because the warning has since disappeared and you have only my word. Luckily for the both of us, my word is bond.

If there is one thing I always loved about the death metal genre, it is the inspiration and hope to be found in the lyrics, song titles, and band names. Nothing says “empowerment” quite like the names Panzerchrist, Prostitute Disfigurement, or Pig Destroyer. And those are just three of the P’s! I am totally naming our next cat Panzerchrist. But I’ve digressed. Back to Jeremy. His band Origin’s self titled debut from 2000 opens with the song “Lethal Manipulation (The Bonecrusher Chronicles). Yeah, I guess I would have trouble giving this flower of a sonnet but just one name. It begins with this stanza:

Bones begin to break, smash your fuckin’ face
Beaten, you plead to live
Born to mutilate, live to desecrate, die, I will kill again
Adrenaline rush, pumping through my veins, boiling in my blood
Methodically, this hunt has just begun!

Hey, we’ve all got issues man. I would post the entire lyrics to the song and comment on them verse by verse, but the idea’s been done before and, well, I think you get the idea. If you must, here’s a link to the lyrics of the instant sing-a-long classic, Vomit You Out. Wow, Seriously?

Full disclosure time: I’ve never heard a second of Origin’s music. I really don’t feel I have to. I’m just here to meddle in the death of his Google presence. Ha! Title pun justified! Anyway, I’m pretty sure I heard some Cannibal Corpse in high school the sound of which has haunted me to this moment. If you are curious though, there’s a link right here.

Jeremy Turner is also responsible for the guitar sound of the band Unmerciful. In a fitting twist of irony (or is it just an “unfortunate coincidence?” I can never tell.), I predict Death Metal JT will be Unmercifully Beaten in my quest for the top Google rank. In a double-helix of irony I’m pretty sure that if we met in person he could easily kick my ass. If that happens I’m totally changing all these links to “nofollow.” Blogging from the edge, this is Jeremy Turner wishing you good night.

This post is tagged Blogging, google, Google Presence, Jeremy, Jeremy Turner, Jeremy Turners